The Episodes of Puterian and Funnitarian!

Book 1

By Janice C.

Chapter 1

I got up early one morning and decided to go for an early morning walk. As I stepped outside I thought I would take a left turn and go straight to the new coffee shop. When I finished having a delicious cup of coffee I browsed through some shops and then I headed home.

I thought of taking a shortcut. After a while I came across a big piece of wood. I started examining it very closely. There was a little door at the end of the tree. I opened it and out popped a strange looking creature. I went closer to it and looked at it inquisitively. The creature said hello. I finally got some courage and asked it where it was from as it was the first time I had seen such a strange creature. I got the shock of my life when it said Pluto.

I did not know what to do or say. I pinched myself to see whether this was a dream. While I was thinking about this very thing it smiled and said that it would stay with me for a while. I could not say 'no' as my mother taught me that it wasn't very polite. So I agreed.

What ever I did on the way back home it copied me. It seemed to me as though this creature was already a part of my family. I could not stand it any longer and decided to put it back in the tree... err I mean spaceship. I could not think of a way at that moment so I thought of taking the creature home with me.

I was too hungry. I asked the creature what would it like to eat. It said hamburger! I was dumbfounded! Without saying a word the whole way I took the creature to the nearest burger joint. I ordered two burgers, one for me and one for the creature.

Talking about the creature, I forgot to ask its name! I carefully asked the creature its name. I politely asked, "What is your name?" It replied swiftly, "My name is Funnitarian" I did not know how to react. It was the funniest name I ever heard of! It then asked me my name and I replied proudly, "My name is Puterian" The creature... oh! I mean Funnitarian started laughing. When I asked him why was he laughing, HE SAID MY NAME IS VERY FUNNY! ?. I got very angry with him.

Now I was really determined to take him back to his stupid spaceship, but he was at the same time amazing! I decided I should find out more about him, but there wouldn't be any way to do that except taking him home. Maybe he wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

I decided on going to the 'Mall Street'. On the way to the street I thought of asking a few questions to him, but before I could do that Funnitarian started asking me something that I did not understand. I asked him to repeat it. "I asked you how far is your home?" I then replied, "I'm not going home instead I'm taking you to the shopping mall just so that you get to know this planet." "Why didn't you tell me yet? I was activating my body on going to a person's home!?" came back the firm reply. I was surprised because I guessed by his name that he wouldn't be so serious. "Sorry. I didn't know you would get so angry." I replied in shock. "It's okay. I just get upset for the silliest reasons sometimes."

After a while I decided I should know more about him before I took any more chances. "What does your name mean in your language?" I asked curiously. He answered hesitantly, "I never looked it up... 'colossal, mammoth, great, immense one' or also known as 'Vast One' I think I will look it up in the..." I quickly said, "Dictionary" "Oh! You mean Lexicon... don't you?" "Yes... I think so," I replied confused. "Hmmm... Here it is! It means temperamental!" "Or can you say moody?" I asked puzzled by the meaning. "Yes you may! " came back the happy reply. He was not too inquisitive.

Suddenly my glance fell on my friend Tommy who was very close to me. I was very scared! I quickly said "Funnitarian hide!" My friend came closer and then soon we met each other. After a small discussion with me about the chess tournament of the new club 'Wiz Games', he said "Nice dog! What is its name?" I answered, "Bruno!" "Nice name! O.K. then see you soon." I was relieved along with being surprised!

He could even change his form! "Hey! How'd you do that Funni?", I asked in bewilderment. "Well it is present only in the populace of the planet Pluto. And one more thing, the spelling of my epithet or nickname is not how you think it is spelt. Instead of 'i' at the end it is 'y' okay!" Funny said candidly. "Okay. May I please know what is this 'quality' called?" I said simultaneously. "I think it is called 'minographyology,'" said Funny. "Okay! Here is the shopping centre. Whatever you do, please come as a human!" I said. "Okay!"

Chapter 2

After a while I thought maybe we could have some supper. "Hey! Would you like some supper, Funny?" He said yes. Then I asked, "Exactly how many times do you eat in a day?" "In Pluto we eat only twice a day!" said Funny. "Here we eat thrice a day." I told Funny. "Oh. Well. I think I will eat some food. What are we eating?" "Maybe some pasta or noodles. First let us go home." I replied. "Are you sure???" Funny asked uncertainly. I replied "Yes!" firmly. Maybe he thought I couldn't cook food. Well if he did I would show him.

We walked all the way in silence. After 5 minutes we reached my apartment. A nameplate on the door said 'Puterian's Flat'. "Your house is very neat and everything is organized" Funny complimented. I went straight to my answering machine. I pressed a button. An automatic voice said, "You have one new message. "Hi there Putty. How are you? How are things at home? I'm inviting you to my house for supper at say around 7 o'clock sharp today! Bye. From Terry and Julie Crasta."

"Well it is off to Terry's place." On the way Funny asked, "Who is Julie?" "She is my cousin." I replied. We finally reached. It was a beautiful house with paintings on the walls of the long passageway. A dog came to greet them. Unusually the dog was very happy. I ignored it. As we walked we saw some exotic plants. "Hi Putty! Hey what is your dog's name?" asked Julie. "Hmmm..." I was interrupted by a small sound. I looked about and saw Funny calling me. I knelt down. "Bruno's the name!" said Funny in a whispering voice. "Uh! His name is Bruno!" "Hi there cute little doggy!" said Julie pampering my dog.

As we walked forward we met Terry. "Hi. How are you Peter? Who is this new member of the family?" Terry inquired. "His name is Bruno!" said Julie who did not let me speak. It was her usual habit and I minded it a lot. "Hi Terry! How is mum? How is pop? Why didn't you e-mail me?" I asked. "Mum's a little sick but pop took care of it as you know he is a Doctor. I did not e-mail you because I had a few job interviews to attend to and I even got a job. I must report to the office tomorrow sharp 7:00 a.m." Terry replied. "Now since you got a job I got a little gift for this occasion." I said. "Hey! How did you know that I got a job?" Asked my cousin puzzled. I replied "I knew this because I called your house once and I thought you would get a job after I found out all the places you applied to." I told proudly. "Good job. Let us have some dinner cause I'm very hungry! Trust me!"

We had a delicious dinner containing tuna salad, pasta, small rotis (Indian food item), omelette, and bread with some garlic cheese. We also had some vegetables and some salad that had onions on it. For desert we had ice cream (Banana-split) and some tasty custard. "It was very tasty, wasn't it?" I asked, delighted with the food. "That is a matter of opinion," said Funny hungrily and in a whispering voice. "Oops! I forgot that you did not have dinner, but I also thought you did not have dinner in Pluto?" "Do you know as something called programme? Once you programme something it gets used to that and that is what I did." said Funny angrily. "Aunt Rose, please can I have some more food. I am still hungry." She was surprised with what I said but she still gave me some food. I pretended that I dropped the omelette on my dog and in that way Funny got to eat some food.

"Well Aunt Rose I think it is time to leave. It was lovely to have such tasty dinner." I said getting up from where I was seated. "Wait son. Since you think my food is very delicious I think you should have a piece of my delicious cake and one dozen cookies. Enjoy them." "Thanks Aunt and goodnight!" I said going towards the corridor with Funny.

The next morning when I got up and finished my lavatory work I smelt the delicious smell of tea, bread and butter and my Aunt's cookies. I went to the kitchen and I saw breakfast ready for me. I also saw Funny seated at the table waiting for me to come. "There you are! Let us have some breakfast on this nice Sunday morning." "Thanks and Good morning!" "So 'Happy Daybreak' is called 'Good Morning'!" said Funny, eating a cookie and sipping his tea.

I ate my breakfast nicely and got ready to go out. As I went I told Funny some of the roads and shops. He memorized them quickly. We kept on walking and we met Suzie my sister's friend on the way.

"Hi!" she said. "Hi" I replied. "How is Rose Marianne?" "Fine!" After a long conservation she finally said goodbye. "Whew! She finally went away! When she starts talking she will never stop. Thank God that I did not speak anything other wise she would continue talking non- stop. Let us go to meet my best friend, George Mane." "Why do you tell the last name of your friend?" asked Funny inquiringly. "Just like that!"

After a short while we reached my friend's place. It was like an open hut. He used to work in the Church. He loved his job very much. "Hi Pete!" said a tall guy, my friend's cousin. "Where is George?" "He is at work." came back the reply. We walked away.

On the way Funny asked me,"What religion do you belong to?" " Christianity. And you?" "Same!" said Funny.

It was noon. Funny asked me for an ice cream. We ate a triple deck ice cream for dessert and a huge burger for the main course. "Yummy! But do we not cook at home?" asked Funny. "Well sometimes I do. But not most of the times." I replied. "Well from now on I will be the cook of the house and please do invite some friends over tommorow. But not at all Suzie. She talks a lot." I agreed to it.

When we went home I headed for the telephone. I punched in some numbers. "Hello. Is this Roger speaking?" I asked. "No. This is his sister speaking, Rianne. I'll call him. Please hold on for a minute," said a sweet voice. "Hi. This is Roger!" "Hi Rogie! How are you? Are you free tomorrow?" "What time?" "At around 7.00 p.m." "Then I can come." "Thanks." "Ok bye" "Bye!" "Well I got one guest for you." "That is perfect. I will start cooking some food for tommorow."

Chapter 3

The day went on and then my friend Tommy called. He said that he would come for dinner tommorow.

The next day arrived very fast. I finished all my morning duties and then set off for work. I worked as a salesperson in a big clothes company. All morning I worked very hard. It was lunch break. I opened my tiffin to see what Funny had given me. The aroma of the tasty, mouth-watering chocolate chip cookies and a piece of black forest cake and also a piece of ham sandwich made me very hungry. I finished my lunch very fast and got back to work. After an hour or so I went home.

It was around 4 o'clock. I went to sleep with Funny. After two hours I got up and refreshed myself. It was 6 p.m. I woke up Funny. He refreshed himself and took a bath. I also took a bath. It was 6.30 p.m. There was still half an hour for the guests to arrive. DING DONG! "Well hear they come." I Said. After a while we had a lovely dinner.

We went to sleep. As I was a deep sleeper, I went to sleep immediately, but Funny was not a deep sleeper. In fact he was a light sleeper. He would wake up with the slightest noise. At midnight he got up because of a noise. He woke me up, but I would not get up. So he decided to go and check it for himself. He slowly went to the kitchen.

"Goodness gracious. A robber!" Funny whispered. He became invisible. He picked up a rope and gave the robber a smack in the face. He tied the robber with the rope. He picked up the phone and dialled the number of the police. After that he ran to me and woke me up. He related the story to me. I freshened myself and took a look at the robber.

When I came out Funny was missing. I was about to search for him when the bell rang. I assumed it was the police. I opened the door worried about Funny. The police asked me a few questions. After a while the police noticed something. "Who else lives with you?" asked the police officer. "Ummmm... my... my..." I was interrupted by the sound of a dog. It was Funny! "My dog lives with me." "Okay. So where may I know is the thief?" asked the police with his gaze moving from the dog and then to me. "He is in the kitchen. I tied him up." I said hoping he wouldn't suspect anything about Funny.

The police took the thief away. Funny transformed back into the alien. He went to the kitchen to make some tea but came out with something shining in his hand. "What's that?" I asked. "I do not know, but they do shine a lot." said Funny handing them over to me. "Funny... These are diamonds!"

Chapter 4

"What are diamonds?" asked Funny. "Diamonds are precious stones which can gather you a lot of money!" I said excitedly. "But they do not belong to us. It would be like robbing," said Funny sternly. I did not know what to do. I was tempted to keep them but Funny was right. If I kept them I could get into trouble. "All right Funny. I shall go to the police and return these diamonds." I said sadly. "Very good. Now let me transform into a dog," said Funny.

We left our house and headed to the police station. I could see the thief we caught behind the bars. "Sir." I said, "We have come to return some diamonds we found in our kitchen after the police left our house." "Oh! Hi Mr. Puterian. We were just about to call you as the thief just told us were he kept the loot." said the officer taking the diamonds from me. "He is not an ordinary thief. He is an international crook. He was wanted and anyone who found him and his loot were going to be rewarded $ 100,000!" "What!? Am I going to get that much amount of money!" I said surprised. "Yes you will and now I think it is best I hand over your money." With that he handed me a check of $100,000. But before we could leave the thief screamed at us saying "I will be back!" We did not pay attention to what he said because we were very happy.

I headed back to our house. I thought I would go to the bank the next day, as it was very early (around 2:30 a.m.). I was very excited as well as happy.

Chapter 5

Next morning I went to the bank and deposited my money, but I removed $ 8000. Then I went to the Bike shop and bought a bike, which was $ 4500. I then went home.

Funny greeted me by giving me some hot coffee and some sandwiches. I told him about my purchase and he was happy.

The day went on and finally night came. I wasn't sleepy at all. Instead I was thinking about my life. First I used to work very hard to live but now I had money. I was very happy. But then questions started to enter my mind. Will I be very happy with this money? Will I face any trouble in future? So many questions came into my mind that I thought my head would burst open. I then thought of asking Funny whether he would want to leave to Pluto and his simple answer was no. Then I thought why should I worry if Funny will still stay with me. I should enjoy when I have the time to. I had so much fun with Funny that I never realized nearly a month got over with him.

My dear friends with that I enclose a fun-filled adventure, and I know there are many more adventures to cross. Till then, Bye folks.